Don’t give them the finger, just blow them a kiss
Instead of being angry you can chuckle at their reaction
Hopefully the “road rage” will now be a retraction
On the bus where the only seat left is somebody’s lap
Because some loser filled a spot with all of their crap
Instead of being angry and staring them down
Offer to help move their stuff to the ground
When you’re parking to shop at your favorite mall
And you see a deadbeat take a handicap stall
Just give them a wave as you calmly walk past
Call security; let them ticket their ass
While you’re there spending your hard earned money
And the cashier is miserable try calling them “Honey”
Of course that only works when you’re opposite sexes
But it’s better than shooting them like they do down in Texas
When you’re out at the golf course enjoying your day
And the people behind you think you’re in the way
Just let them go past, do your best to ignore
When they’re ahead, count slowly to three, and then yell “fore!”
When you’re sitting at home and you just want to relax
But the kids are going crazy; you can’t get them off your back
Don’t get upset and tell them to “get out of your hair”
They grow up too fast, soon they won’t be there
When you’re all dressed up to take your wife on a date
As usual she’s slow and you don’t want to be late
Give her a break; go get some fresh air on the deck
Remember, men only have to shave their face and neck
When your neighbor lets their dog poop on your lawn
You can’t keep watching out for them dusk to dawn
You might have to pick it up, and yes, that's a drag
But they’ll think twice when it's on their step in a bag
Funny Motivational Speaker