Do you feel bad because other people feel bad? Do you need other people to like or approve of you? Or do you worry about others?
This is a Hangover. You are hanging your sense of purpose and happiness onto other people. It puts pressure on them and makes happiness for you impossible. The hangover takes you out of the present moment.
The Hangover feels terrible, so it causes you to hustle. You will need to use effort, reward and punishment to get people to change so that you can feel better.
You may reward others for doing what you want or punish them if they don’t. It can work temporarily, but you will need to continually apply more rewards and more punishment and hustle even harder in the long term.
The whole thing is held together by trying to control other people. It’s a lot more rewarding, less expensive and easier to feel good yourself.
Why do you need other people to be happy for you to be happy?
The only way to inspire other people is to be inspired yourself. Hinging your happiness to other people’s behaviours means you will always be frustrated and exhausted.
However, If you are uplifted, you will inspire others.
By worrying about other people, you focus on their weaknesses, not their strengths. It’s better to believe in them and show them hope and opportunity.
The original use of the word Hangover was work hanging over your head from one day to the next.
It’s worrying about your work even when you're not working. You are dredging up the past unfinished work into the present moment. Instead of living life in front of you, your thought and emotion are consumed by the past and projecting doubt on the future.
This mixed emotion will cause you to hustle to control circumstances and people to get what you want. Required is more reward and punishment placed on yourself and others necessary to hold this thing together.
I don’t think we’re meant to live life this way.
You can’t possibly be experiencing your life the best you can through living in the past and the future.
Your life is only happening right now. You can’t do anything in the past or accomplish anything in the future. You can only do it now. All activity or learning- all evolution can only happen in the NOW.
However, most people live the balance of their lives, compelled to control circumstances and people. And this hangover of our attention means we’re not living out our own life to the fullest. We want others to change, and then we’ll be happy. We are using reward and punishment and evidence from the past to manipulate the future.
It is far more empowering to be inspired in life in the moment and lead others from that place.
When you feel inspired, joyful or appreciative, you know you live life the best you can. It's because you are in the present moment- the good feeling shows you this.
The question is this would you rather hustle hard trying to control the past or future or have a life of moment to moment bliss?
If you express your joy and bliss in your life, you're living your life instead of expecting happiness from others.
Life is happening through you, not to you. You control your destiny because you are the one allowing and disallowing the experience of life.
The only way to know if you are getting the most out of your life is through your enjoyment of it. When time flies by, you are absorbed in the moment and soak up the energy. This is bliss.
When life feels stiff or complex, it means you're not allowing it to flow, your pushing it away and denying the experience. This is what that mixed emotion is telling you.
Find your Bliss in the middle of stress, and you find your life.
Now Bliss out and live it.