Have you ever done something and completely forgot you did it? I have.
I realized later, I was lost in thought. My body was doing one thing, and my mind was somewhere else. This is stress doing a number on me. I’m worried about the past or irritating my future instead of being in the present moment.
Studies show there is very very very little stress in the present moment. 98% of stress is worrying about the past or projecting the fear of the future.
What I’ve learned is when you are in any negative thought/ emotion pattern, you leave real life in front of you and enter into a negatively tinted, make-believe world inside you. Dissident emotions inside you guided by thoughts rummage around in the past or future and paint your real life in grey shades.
It’s not real life but worrying about real life.
It's not real life but a fearful version of real life.
It's not real life but your irritation with your real life.
You deny the NOW for a tainted version of reality.
Our goal is to help you climb outside these negative thoughts/ emotions and into your real life in front of you. I promise you it's worthwhile. It’s life-changing.
It is here and now. It is everything happening around you and inside you right now. The present is the time associated with the events perceived directly and in the first time, not as a recollection or speculation. It is a period of time between the past and the future. It’s actually the simplest place to be. It’s real.
Buddhism emphasizes the importance of living in the present moment — being fully aware of what is happening, and not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
Studies show we spend most of our time thinking about the past or projecting the future. This can easily throw you into a state of worry, fear or doubt. Yet most people spend more time in this made-up fear-based world than their real one.
It would be sad to think you spend most of your life in fear and doubt instead in your actual life. Once you peel away the layers of personality, self-identity and circumstances, you can be left with real life.
Get this. Most of your day is looking at life through a filter. It’s your perspective built up over years of emphasising and focusing on different aspects of life.
When something happens, you don’t observe it directly but through a lens that colours the experience. If your perspective is diverse enough, it can allow many possibilities. If it's narrow, it will throw many possibilities out. Thus you don’t experience everything that’s right in front of you but just the parts you resonate with. The stuff you throw out is usually what you judge, simply because you don't have enough information or experience. Likely you don’t throw everything out; you focus unevenly on different things.
Why do we discount or judge what’s happening?
According to science, the human body sends 11 million bits per second to the brain for processing, yet the conscious mind seems to process only 50 bits per second. This means, even before google, the brain receives overwhelming amounts of information to process. The only way to handle the sheer amount of information is to suss out what works for you and what doesn’t.
So there it is. We aren’t peering at reality; we're looking at our own crooked version of it. To me, this illuminates negative perspectives. Anytime you introduce judgement or negative information to a perspective, you discount it. You offer resistance to it and move away from it.
Look at the same thing positively, you open to possibilities it can bring with it. Every time you say NO, you move away from something, every time you say YES you move towards it. Do you see how powerful your emotions are? They are literally directing your future. You may as well be aware of it.
When you aren’t present, you become a victim of time. Your mind is pulled into the past or the future, or both. You become a victim of time. If you try to fight time, time will always win. Time moves forward whether you accompany it or not. Anytime you enter the past or the future through fear, worry or doubt, you leave the real present moment in front of you.
If you were fully in the present moment, you would release all judgement, irritation and worry. Your perspective would be neutral. You would observe, not judge. In doing so, you would feel an amazing warmth and stress-free clarity unleash inside you.
I’ve always admired people who can stay calm when everyone else is freaking out.
Relax and regain balance.
Chester F. Carlson, Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Virginia, says Mindfulness can reduce Anxiety and find more Calm. I’ve been an avid meditator for over 20 years. I rarely endure a day without meditation. Through meditation, you can find peace and calm much easier. It trains you to bring your attention to the present moment.
Meditation also helps you stay in the present moment longer. In mindfulness meditation, I can find a peaceful feeling that allows me to detach from conflicting thoughts. I try to keep the calm feeling inside me as long as I can.
Eventually, that feeling of calm can follow you through the day. You will become much more aware when something disturbs your calm. In fact, it will become so uncomfortable to be upset, worrisome or angry that you will find ways to escape misery in favour of inner calm.
My suggestion is to be aware of your thoughts because they are the architect of your reality. Know that all positive thoughts bring you forward in life, and negative thoughts take you out of your real life. Negative assessments of life are your brain's way of sorting out the deluge of information in your world. Divergent thoughts keep you out of these perspectives or experiences in life, so that you can focus on the things that do matter to you.
1 )Notice when you are in a fearful, worrisome, negative thought pattern. Don’t analyze your thoughts; don’t judge them. Just notice.
2) Now notice how you feel. Good or bad. Likely it's bad because negative thoughts are depleting. They are designed that way to hold you back.
3) Forgive the negative thought. Surround it with comforting positive thoughts. Show understanding and support for your negativity. It’s normal. It’s human. Definitely don't turn against yourself because you are stuck in a negative mindset. This would compound the problem. You can only quell negative emotions with positive ones. It’s the only way. I find self-compassion, understanding and forgiveness are the best ways to move out of difficult thought patterns. Be nice to your negative thoughts.
4) Reach for a positive thought. Your goal is to pepper your inner being with better feelings. Introduce positive thoughts that spur on positive emotions. Hold them in you as long as you can. Marinate in positivity. Positive thoughts are fleeting, so you have to perpetuate them and hold a positive vibration in you as long as you can.
-You can redirect your thoughts to an entirely different subject. You may decide to do something that pleases you- like playing with your dog.
-As a funny motivational speaker, I constantly reinforce the power of humour to make you feel good. Find a way to laugh. It makes you feel good, and that’s the whole point.
-You can sit in gratitude, thinking about how wonderful your life is.
- You can find something in the environment around you that you enjoy looking at.
-You can appreciate a positive comment someone gave you or relish something that has gone well in your life.
5) Hold onto positive feelings as long as you can. Bask in them and let them flourish inside you. It will get easier with time. Every time you think a positive thought, nourish the feeling it brings with it.
These 5 steps will help you feel more calm, positive and joyful. Do them as often as you can and relish in feeling good. Make feeling good your top priority in life, and your life will unfold beautifully. You will be attracting more of what you want.