The only way to uplift others is to be inspired by yourself.
When someone you care about experiences worries, anger or doubt, what do you do? Many people experience these mixed emotions too.
When someone around you reacts with fear, what do you do? Many people become fearful too
Yet if someone is angry and you respond with anger, how are you in any better position than they are? You’re not.
Emotions are contagious. Especially the negative ones. It’s tough to keep a cool head when someone else is freaking out. However, if your goal is to help someone, you can’t do that by mimicking their fear, worry or doubt. It won’t help.
So what should you do? Pretend everything is okay? Encourage them to suck it up or repress their emotions?
No. Instead, if possible, feel good for them.
I’m not suggesting faking good feelings. You won’t have to pretend because they are the ones who feel bad, not you. You are in a stronger position emotionally than they are. That’s why they came to you in the first place.
Just remember it’s their negative emotion, not yours. If you can maintain any sense of hope, compassion or appreciation for your friendship, you can still feel good.
It’s possible their situation is not as tragic as they think. If you can maintain your optimism, you will see that.
When someone comes to you in anger or fear, focus less on their feelings and more on your own. Stay uplifted despite their challenges by recognizing the good in the bad. See opportunity instead of problems.
DON'T TRY TO UPLIFT THEM
I would stay away from trying to change someone who is upset. You don’t need them to cheer up, change their outlook or suddenly become inspired.
Your only goal is for you to stay uplifted. This may seem selfish, but it’s not. It’s the only way you can help them. It never helps you both to sit around and feel bad together.
Instead, if you maintain an uplifted position, you will see insight they can’t.
You may notice that what they are worried about isn’t a problem. You may recognize your friend isn’t seeing things accurately, and they may be missing important information.
Either way, don’t try to change them or to fix them. They are not broken. Nothing needs fixing. It’s just they are having an emotional reaction to something.
In that emotion, they don’t see clearly. The longer they stew in their mood, the more they will take what at this point are worry and doubt (thoughts and feelings) & make them into something concrete and lasting. They may decide to act out on their anger or teach other's a lesson. This will sustain and manifest real drama in their lives.
The only way to inspire other is to be inspired yourself.
