I used to think humility meant staying quiet. Holding back. Dimming my light so others could shine.
Especially in leadership roles, I thought being humble meant not taking up too much space—letting others talk, letting others lead, even when I had something to offer. I thought that was selfless. But really, it was self-doubt hiding behind a mask of humility.
The quote by C.S. Lewis eventually hit me right between the eyes:
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”
That one line flipped the script. Because I realized that shrinking doesn’t serve anyone—not me, and not the people I lead. True humility isn’t about minimizing yourself; it’s about focusing on others without losing your sense of self.
Humility: And research backs this up.
A study published in the Academy of Management Journal found that humble leaders inspire stronger collaboration, higher-performing teams, and more learning behaviors. When leaders show openness to feedback and admit they don’t have all the answers, it creates a space where others feel safe to contribute fully. Link to the study
Another study from the University of Washington discovered that leader humility is directly linked to increased engagement, psychological safety, and trust. People are more likely to speak up, share ideas, and stay committed when they’re led by someone who’s real, not rigid. Link to the study
These findings challenged how I saw leadership. I realized humility isn’t about taking a step back—it’s about making room for others while staying fully present yourself.
As a female motivational speaker, I’ve had to learn how to balance confidence with humility in a world that often tells women to “stay modest” but penalizes them for not speaking up. The truth is, humility and strength can exist in the same sentence.
So how do we lead with humility—without losing our confidence?
Here’s what I’ve learned (and am still practicing):
1. Listen more than you speak.
Not to reply. Not to prove. Just to understand. When people feel heard, they show up differently. And you, as a leader, get access to insight you wouldn’t get if you were doing all the talking.
2. Share the spotlight.
When something goes well, name the people who made it happen. Not in passing, but with intention. Let your team feel seen. That’s what builds loyalty—being recognized not just for showing up, but for making a difference.
3. Admit mistakes openly.
Early in my career, I thought admitting mistakes would erode trust. But the opposite is true. Vulnerability builds credibility. People don’t trust you more because you’re perfect—they trust you more because you’re human.
4. Stay a student.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been leading. If you think you’ve got it all figured out, you’ve stopped growing. The best leaders I know are endlessly curious—they ask more questions than they answer.
And finally, 5. Don’t confuse humility with hiding.
There’s a big difference between thinking of yourself less and thinking less of yourself. Your voice, your experience, your presence—it matters. Humility isn’t about stepping out of the way completely. It’s about standing in your strength while making room for others to do the same.
As a female motivational speaker who works with leaders and teams, I see how often humility is misunderstood. It’s not about playing small—it’s about creating space for others to grow with you.
Leadership isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about making the room louder with everyone else’s voice too. And humility—the real kind, rooted in self-awareness, not insecurity—is how we create that space.
If you’re looking for a female motivational speaker to inspire your team and help build stronger human-centered leadership, that’s what I’m here for.
